Saturday, March 16, 2013

i some times feel strange and ask to myself " is this what life expects from me or is it what i expect from life  " . the way it treats me is pretty much frustrating and yes to be very frank i am habituated to it. when it does not treats me this way i feel like i am in a different world of-course not in mine . As people say "before a disaster there is a silence " i fell the same if my life goes on a right track i feel like some things going to get a really scary i try and put up my efforts to make people happy but they never seem to be happy no matter what i do! how hard i try ! and my heart explains it all it says to me...................................................
 "At some point you will realize that 
you have done too much for 
someone, that the only next 
possible step to do is to stop. Leave 
them alone. Walk away. It's not like 
you're giving up, and it's not like 
you shouldn't try. It's just that you 
have to draw the line of 
determination from desperation. 
What is truly yours will eventually 
be yours, and what is not, no 
matter how hard you try, will never 

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

what am i

each morning i wake up with just one question -who am i ? people talk about the dream they had while sleeping .... but me .....what dream should i talk about ? when i don't sleep its just like a fairy tale which has once upon a time perhaps  i don't dream !!!! . each day i am looking at things motiveless......... then suddenly i find my self in a crowd which existed from nowhere and i try to find my identity in the crowd to find WHO AM I . this is how i begin my day chasing for my own identity  .all my attempt changes to futile . i can not find myself ...but a mare echo of myself i want to talk with the breeze that come around me  feels like its bring me a message i look at the cigarette i smoke and smile then i say to my self that i have the most intimate relationship with it 
because every morning i feel it with my hands and kiss it with my lips when i am alone i want to talk to the hanging light above me because i think it has some thing to say share its pain with me i look at the wall around and the non living things  sitting on the table feels like they want to talk to me its only them who properly know who i am the city i live in has its flow people have their own drift  and yes still i am thinking of searching my identity in it here people are moving in their own pace but why am i still ? why is there no feel of the movement with in me ? some are happy with their own thoughts and others happy to hear  their  thought  but why cant i think of something ? why don't i feel anything ? "WHY"there is this huge crowd here and there everywhere why do i feel so lonesome ? why am i not able to be a part of the crowd .why am i alone .once again i am lost anyways who am i ? "WHO AM I ?"people talk with me perhaps important but my engrossment is not with them but i am with those animals or nonliving creature who have their lives in misery in fact how strange is life and the fact that we have  to live up to all  the expectation norms values and all those stuffs i am sorry i don't mean to hurt people ,why am i like this ? every one tells me this is your name . this is who you are but if one determines one's identity then some one gave me this name i didn't earn it so whats my real identity ...................................... WHO AM I ????????? WHO AM I ???? WHO AM I?????